Monday, May 15, 2006

How to ask for money #1: With poetry.

I've been noticing a trend on the boards about asking for money instead of gifts. I say, don't do it - and certainly don't include such a request with the invitation. Couples aren't entitled to a gift, and registries exist solely to help those guests who find them useful. Guests aren't obliged to bring a gift at all, or to bring one off the registry. I'm not convinced that this new trend of casting the request in verse makes it any more acceptable. On the plus side, however, it does make it funnier. Anyway! On to the poetry. Got any favorites? Let me know - and please report any GWC sightings here. Thank you!
We are sending out this invitation, And hope you will join our celebration. If to send a gift is your intention, In modesty we would like to mention, We already have kettles and toasters, Crockery, dinner mats and a number of coasters, So rather than something we already own We would love money or vouchers to spend on our home. The tradition of the wishing well is one that's known by all. Go to the well, toss in a coin and as the coin does fall, Make a wish upon that coin and careful as you do. Cause as the well's tradition goes your wishes will come true. So on this special day of ours - The day that we’ll be wed. Don't hunt for special gifts but give money in it's stead. And as you drop the envelope with money great and small, Remember, make your wish as you watch your money fall [As something of an afterthought, the poet adds: ] But, most importantly, we request, That you are here as our wedding guest!
My favorite, so far, the clear-eyed brevity of a haiku:
Come to celebrate But don't forget to pay for your plate
And finally, this bracingly strict verse that leaves guests with little wiggle room:
This wishing well before you here Has a purpose that's pretty clear. Drop some green into the slot, Just make sure that it's alot! [sic] We would think it pretty nifty if it was at least a fifty. After all it cost us money To plan this day and our moon of honey!


Amy said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

Great blog!

Kim said...

Augh, those don't even scan. Horrible!

Anonymous said...

why should the married couple not expect any gifts from their guests?
Are you implying that the guests can also not expect to get a meal that is paid for?

It costs quite a bit per plate, close to the upwards of 115$ has become standard. Can we instead have the hall/restaurant bill the guests instead? Would this be any classier?

Anonymous said...

I thought it was proper etiquette to bring a gift to a wedding. So who should be scolded for being rude the person not bringing a gift because they dont know what you want or cant afford an expensive gift. Or the couple for helping the guest decide what to give you. Most people dont like to shop for people that you dont see much, or know there home decor. I think it is easier on both parties. I wouldnt want to have to go through all the trouble of returning gifts cuz i have 3 of the same thing.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand what the big deal is to request 'no boxed gifts.' Why do people find it so offensive? I mean sure you can't assume that everyone will bring a gift or is required to- but isn't it tacky to attend a wedding and not take a gift? I've never been to a wedding without taking a gift and usually it's off a registry or it's cash. As a thoughful guest- don't we want to give the new couple something they want/need? And what new couple couldn't use some extra cash? Gosh I wish this trend was around when I got married! Of course close relatives understand, but when you have a 500 person wedding- the type of gift can border on the ridiculous. I ended up moving 2500 miles away from home and a lot of my gifts are still collecting dust in my parents' basement.

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