My Lovely Horse: Equine wedding cake topper

Ah, Dorian. Dorian, Dorian, Dorian. It's been too long. Horse-lovers? Horse lovers? Either way, you need this caketopper. (Many thanks to Agent Melanie for bringing this to our attention.) [edited to add Father Ted reference. How did I miss that?]

Irish wedding garters

Never teh Bride recently featured wedding garters, a sight that had me running to my bookmarks to dig up these gems, my favorite of which combines shamrocks, the Irish flag colors, and a Claddagh symbol in one stylish and ethnically distinct package:

But where's the harp?

Your Own Wedding Chapel

Cruising BoingBoing today, we noticed that the splendidly named WillyGoats, Inc. is offering a wedding chapel for sale on Amazon, priced to move at $20,319.97 (though not eligible for free shipping via Prime).

I'd love to see a list: People who bought a mobile wedding chapel also bought ...

Mrs Stiffler!

Eagle-eyed Agent Caroline points out that Advantage Bridal is offering a personalized wedding thong.

Take a closer look at that name embroidered on the thong: yes, it's Mrs. Stiffler: the super jerk of the American Pie movie series!

This site beautifully illustrates the rule that anything with the word "classy" in its name is, invariably, tacky.

Electric wedding dress!

If you're planning on wearing an electric light-up veil complete with a plurality of spaced miniature incandescent lamps - and we hope you are - then you'll be wanting this: More details, including a "view of corset top in bright ambient light, and with internal illumination" can be found here.

O.M.G.

Thank you, Ariel of Offbeat Bride, for making me spray Diet Coke all over my screen, the reflexive response to any picture of a bride in what appears to be a courtship ritual with a large metal vulva.

First, she tries to pretend it's not there.

Then it kind of starts pissing her off.

Finally, she surrenders and swoons.

May you, too, have a happy Valentine's day.

How Honeymoon Registries Get Rich Off Your Money

Great article from Make Love Not Debt. Example, based on $3000 honeymoon:

Setup fee: $150 Commission: 15% of $3,000 = $450 Interest: 6% of $3,000 = $180 100 Announcement Cards: 100 cards @ 50c = $50 Rush service fee: $25 Total Revenue: $855 That's $855 that could have been spent on the honeymoon itself. Ouch.

GWC is cold. But proud.

Freezing the GWC ass off in Minneapolis, but just wanted to quickly note - we're braggarts round these parts - that GWC is the #2 Google result for How do dolphins crap? We apologize for our inability to assist in this matter, and wish the researcher all the best in his or her investigations.

More hankies!

A wonderful gift for your Mother to dry her tears as you wed. "Mother…This loving reminder for all the years you dried my tears".

My own mother would glance at this suspiciously before dismissing it (and rightly so) as "too little, too late."

A fabulous cake deserves fabulous balloons

Thanks to a timely report from Agent ChgoRed, GWC is delighted to present Castle Cakes!

More delicious confections here.

Want. Must Have.

The hysterically funny mb over at Blonde Champagne is breaking my heart with her pictures of inflatable wedding arches. This woman is brilliant.

I could die unless I get my hands on one of these beauties, and yet no amount of Googling is turning up a supplier. Sheesh!

Update: The fabulous Cathy hunted down a link where you can buy such a lighted, inflatable arch. Here you go - but hurry, there's only three left!

While you're at it, why not pick up an inflatable wedding cake?

More Irish wedding goodness

I'm in love with Wedding Themes and More, and its suggestions for an Irish-themed wedding.

You may want to dress in formal bridal wear or the bride and her attendants could dress as Irish maids or pixie fairies. The groom, along with his groomsmen, could dress like Irish gents or leprechauns.

But wait, there's more:

Create a rainbow behind the head table from poster board, each end anchored in a large cast-iron pot. Fill the pots full with newspapers then place a circle base on top of this cut from cardboard. On top of the cardboard, place chocolate gold-foiled "coins". Cut the bride and groom's first names from cardboard and color in emerald green. Spread watered glue mix and sprinkle sparkles on the names. Secure to the hang from the rainbow.

Or why not "create a "blarney stone" from paper mache and place just inside the doorway as people enter"?

More ideas here. In all fairity, as our old neighbor would say, in all fairity I must point out that the author notes that this is not actually a traditional Irish wedding. Which leads me to a story. Around the time of the last presidential primaries, I took myself off to Seattle Center to watch the Democratic caucus. I was listening in on a group of Kucinich supporters, and when the leader asked me for my opinion, I uncharacteristically declined to give it, saying that I wasn't a citizen, and was only there to observe. "Where are you from?" he asked. "Ireland," I said, and he grasped my hand. "Welcome!" he said enthusiastically, shaking my hand in earnest good fellowship, "Welcome -- to democracy."

Holymotherofgod Irish wedding favor

This traditional "Irish Blessing Wedding Favor" features two rather gaudily dressed short fellas sliding down a banister.

Available here or by calling 1-866-IRISH-4U.

God, I'd kill for that number.

Wedding Day Survivor Mug

Wedding Day "Survivor"? ... You'll LOVE this coffee mug from Beverly Clark. A great gift for Mom or Dad! Includes a fun Survivor-like logo declaring "Over Did, Over Spent, Over Stressed" surrounding a bridal couple in an oval. Available with blue or orange logo.

I think it would be totally cool to use this in front of your son-in-law every single visit. Get it here.

Rules for Marriage

Thanks to Never teh bride for pointing me back to these. Avoid enternal hellfire by following the rules here.

I suspect most of you minxes reading this would also profit from Instructions for Women.

For those who worry that the woman in the veil will go unnoticed on the day

I am honored to draw your attention to U.S. Patent No. 4,604,760, in which inventor Sheri K. Coin of Billings, Montana, resolves a familiar problem:

In an attempt to achieve a bridal headdress that coordinates better with current hair and makeup styles, many brides are turning to very casual designs such as wreaths, bands, hats and the like. ... Another factor that may influence a bride's selection of a headdress is the fact that most people who attend the wedding generally are at a distance that does not permit discernment of fine details of the outfit. ... guests are within close range of the bride for only a few moments as they converse with the bridal party and the remainder of the time are at a considerable distance. Therefore, guests can only observe details of the bridal attire when they are quite large in size. From the above discussion, it is clear that presently available bridal headdresses do not provide desired solutions for many of today's brides. Thus, there is a need for a new bridal headdress that overcomes the deficiencies of earlier designs.

The solution? Ladies, an electric veil.

The illuminating portion 19 of the headdress 11 includes a plurality of spaced miniature incandescent lamps 36. The lamps 36 are spaced from each other and affixed along the length of the supporting portion 18. The lamps are retained in proper alignment by affixing the same to the supporting portion such as with an adhesive 37. The lamps 36 preferably have an elongated tubular configuration. Advantageously, the lamps include clear glass or plastic envelopes 38 and preferably are six volt lamps.

I shit you not, my friends. I shit you not. Thus equipped,

A bride then can proceed with her normal activities associated with the wedding ceremony without concern or attention to the headdress. At appropriate times in the ceremony and/or reception, she can illuminate the lamps by reaching a hand under the veil and actuating the switch 50.

Skeptics can verify the above information here.

Fabulous wedding etiquette advice

"If you are like most people, you will waste a lot of time wondering about the proper way to address a female friend of yours who is a doctor, married and has kept her maiden name. "

Um, no. Nope. Never. Why on earth would you? Hasn't she made it very clear how she wants to be addressed? Where is the problem here? And just in case you were

Avoid using Ms. in social stationery. It is typically more appropriate for business.

Don't even think about it. More help here.

National Delurking Week

You know something? I'm a bad blogger. (Wedding, honeymoon, new job, remodel, vacation ...) But I've been inspired, and will be posting more regularly from tomorrow. In the meantime, go check out Offbeat Bride -- right here in snowy Seattle. And hey - it's delurking week. I don't always comment myself, but I just squeal with delight when someone leaves me a comment. (Unless it's just plain mean. And even then ...) I'd just love it if you left a comment - it would be awesome to see who drops by, what you're thinking, who you are, and where you do the blogging yourself. Here's to a nonGodawful 2007 to you all.

Blog? Oh right! Blog!

Since I've been married I've rather let myself go. Life on the other side is truly delightful, consisting as it does of eating bon-bons while expertly manipulating the TiVo stick and being a stranger to the blowdryer. Sometimes I can bearly muster enough energy for a wagging finger or a quick nag. As you can imagine, it leaves little time for searching the Web for godawful wedding detritus. Plus - well, I just can't seem to summon the enthusiasm for wedding-based googling that I used to. I've got a bunch of ugly stuff saved I'll throw up on the site in the next couple of days, though. Kind of like my swan song.