Wednesday, June 14, 2006

You'll come for the baby bride bible, but you'll stay for the Virgin Mary soap

It's never too early to start planning for your daughter's wedding. Do you hear me, Brad and Angie? This is a baby bible. Agent Lowe informs me that the verse that comes with it reads as follows:
I am an Heirloom Bible As special as can be. A present for someone dear Who's little like me. When baby grows to wed I'll be by your side. Or part of the bouquet For the blushing bride.

(Updated because I'd posted the wrong pic - thanks for the heads up, greyduck - and now this transition makes NO SENSE ...) While you're visiting Go on, visit the fabulous www.Cool2bcatholic.com (best. URL. ever). Take some time to look around. Heck, it's not wedding-related, but I can't resist anyway: why not pick up some Virgin of Guadalupe soap?

This saintly statuette, with its amazing attention to detail, radiates a delicate rose scent—and comes presented in a colorful, decorative paperboard box that makes a gorgeous keepsake when the soap is gone. A great gift idea to awaken anyone’s spiritual side.

"Awaken anyone's spiritual side." This is soap, people. Soap.

14 comments:

Twistie said...

Well, they do say cleanliness is next to godliness...but I don't think this was exactly what they had in mind.

As to the baby Bible that the poor infant is being ordered to carry at her wedding, what if she turns out to be gay? What if she turns out to be Goth? What if she turns out to have good taste? Then that carefully chosen present will be entirely useless.

Never, ever, ever pick a baby present with the kid's eventual marriage in mind!

Riona said...

Hello twistie! Let's hope that if does turn out to be gay, by the time she's all grown up she'll be able to have all the same wedding choices we breeders do. Including, I guess, the right to tote this, this - thang down the aisle ...

Twistie said...

(waves) Hi riona!

And amen to that sentiment...but I still hope the kid grows up with a better sense of style than that! LOL!

Dataceptionist said...

I'm wondering how you're meant to incoroprate it into your bouquet? Do you tear out the pages and make yourself a Bible-Bouquet-of-shredded-paper-goodness?

greyduck said...

Don't want to burst your bubble- but the verse in the bible you posted actually doesn't mention weddings or brides at all.

The last four lines say:

When baby grows up
I'll be by your side
And when you reach adulthood
I will serve as your guide.

Anonymous said...

Holy Action figures, Batman!

http://www.cool2bcatholic.com/stfrancis.html

Riona said...

owie, greyduck - thanks for catching that! My friend received the bible with the actual verse I quoted, but didn't have a pic of the actual bible. I'll update with the right one just as soon as I track it down.

How embarrassing.

The Lowe said...

Greyducks have eagle eyes!

Dataceptionist said...

it's ok Riona, we know you meant well. *hug* hehehe

Twistie said...

BTW, nobody ever carries a Bible WITH their bouquet. It's an either/or situation. And more traditionally a prayer book than a Bible. Fans are also carried instead rather than with, though I have seen bridal parties carry fans with a couple flowers attached.

Anonymous said...

People do infact carry bibles and flowers. Both myself and my Mother-in-law both carried bible sprays. The flowers are afixed with ribbon onto the front of the bible in either a small arrangment or a cascade.

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Anonymous said...

Nobody commented about the soap. How would the Virgin feel about her face (even if it's soap) being rubbed all up in everyone's business? Less than spiritually awakened, I'm thinking. Try to lead a holy, blameless life, and this is what you get, this is how people memorialize you. Ew! Does no one think these products through when developing them?

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