Nothing that can't be fixed with a little Photoshop

So there I was, googling for first anniversary gift ideas, when what did I see only this?

The good people at MyDaVinci ("Art that clicks") will take your photos and Photoshop your faces onto the painting of your choice. While I can't imagine spending the rest of my life staring at a picture of myself and himself besporting ourselves in the woods, I have to admit I'm tempted by the American Gothic version: Or I could surprise him on his birthday with a portrait of himself:

My DaVinci. It's brilliant.

Now the big day's over ...

she's gonna need the Honey Do Whistle. Spouse-training technology has obviously come a long way since we featured the the training treats for new husbands - this little beauty comes with a guarantee.

A caketopper destined to become an heirloom

... passed lovingly from mother to unexpected daughter. Pick it up here, for $300.

Weekly Wedding Link of Awesome

Iranian blogger Jadi writes about about his friend's Maryam's aghd ceremony:

I want to mention an addition in her Aghd ceremonies. Aghd is a religious word for "marriage" and in our traditions it consists sitting in front of a Mirror + Flowers + Some sweets + Rings + ... and here + 1 Million Signatures For Equal Rights booklets! You can see the booklets at the bottom right. These are the booklets used when people are collecting signatures to say "We need equal rights for men and women".

Read more here. And see an example of why it's so important.

But that's not what I meant!

Slightly distressed as a check of Sitemeter reveals that GWC is the #2 result for How to treat man like a crap. Kind of charmed by the use of "man" (as in mankind?) and "a crap", though. Both broader and more specific than "how to treat a man like crap" for which GWC doesn't even appear on the first page. Again, we wish the researcher all the best with his or her inquiries but must direct them elsewhere. Bye now.

Jodie Marsh is getting married: Why the legwarmers, I wonder?

Men are invited to submit an application for a series of open auditions for the chance to marry Jodie Marsh in September. The search and subsequent wedding will be filmed for MTV and - if the bride's ensemble is anything to go by - promises to be quite the show. Apply online at Marry Jodie Marsh.

Weekly Wedding Link of Awesome

Anthony and Claire's Wedding Dance

Most. Romantic. Caketopper. Ever.

Thanks to the gals at Kvetch, check out: Need to see a little bit more of Bobby? Feast your eyes, my friends. Feast your eyes. I'd hold out until he peels off a couple more twenties, though. Available from Thumbprint Kids, right here.
Update: Hang on to those bills, my bridegroom buddies. Agent Rachael has just pointed out that once of these little things will set you back $2500. For that kind of money you could be knee-deep in doughnuts.

Wedding cake patent: A plurality of tulles

The atmosphere of excitement may aggravate the difficulty of distributing confetti or birdseed to all the wedding attendees. Further, wedding cakes commonly served at wedding parties need to be properly portioned, cut and placed on plates requiring the effort of someone skilled with the hands, a facility which all the attendees do not usually possess. The cake itself can be difficult or time consuming to make, and the whole event might require considerable clean up when completed.

Accordingly, a need remains for a simulated wedding cake that overcomes the above-noted shortcomings.

Inventor Rosemarie E. McGuigan has stepped up to the plate with U.S. Patent 7,021,465.

The simulated cake further includes a plurality of capsules that have a top opening for selectively receiving a variable quantity of bird seed and confetti therein, for example. Such a plurality of capsules are removably positionable into the plurality of holes. The present invention further includes a plurality of tulles engageable about the plurality of capsules. A plurality of ribbons are also attachable to the plurality of tulles for tying the respective top portions thereof. Advantageously, bird seed and confetti may be selectively contained therein until a user desires to sprinkle same over the bride and groom. The present invention further includes a plurality of rings engaged with the plurality of ribbons respectively.

I am totally in love with the Patent Office and its requirement of the word "plurality". It's a word I resolve to use more often.

Christ. Another one.

I've said it before (more than once), and I am certain I will say it again, but still: who buys these things?

Wedding beer can koozie: More ways to keep the amber nectar cool

If you're looking for a gift for the man in your life, and you, like, hate him or something, remember that he'd probably enjoy standing around at parties with his friends - his male friends - drinking beer out of a coozy emblazoned with the slogan "Love Is All Around". Get them here.

Wedding and honeymoon car decorations

Not just stylish: this getaway car essential comes complete with a "suction cup for easy mounting" - an important consideration for any honeymoon couple.

Bachelorette party supplies: A banner

This, dear reader, is the face of a woman who has been asked to pose with one too many penis-related novelty items.

Looking for an exciting new way to draw attention to your garage sale?

I've never seen a spokesperson look less excited.

Introducing bridal boudoir photography

A thousand thanks to Agent LauraB, who has brought a whole new genre to our attention: Boudoir bridal photography, otherwise known as pictures of the bride in her skivvies (for the family album? for the groom's private consumption? for the mother of the bride to whip out of her wallet and pass around at book group?). Intrigued? Wondering about the next step? A casual Google turned up the following advice from the deliciously named Cape Fear Weddings:

Your finished boudoir portait can be turned into a gift in many ways. The most popular is the wall canvas. Add a special touch by having it hung in your honeymoon suite for your wedding night... Current software makes it economical to produce slide shows or other multi-media presentations, with music, captions, voice-overs or special effects such as fade-outs, dissolves, zoom and pan effects.

"Economical." "Slide shows". Do you suppose this means Powerpoint? Awesome.

Sit On Me

Oh man. I can't decide which would be sweeter: putting my own face on a tote bag and carrying it around in public, or presenting all my friends with the pillow of their dreams.

My Lovely Horse: Equine wedding cake topper

Ah, Dorian. Dorian, Dorian, Dorian. It's been too long. Horse-lovers? Horse lovers? Either way, you need this caketopper. (Many thanks to Agent Melanie for bringing this to our attention.) [edited to add Father Ted reference. How did I miss that?]

Irish wedding garters

Never teh Bride recently featured wedding garters, a sight that had me running to my bookmarks to dig up these gems, my favorite of which combines shamrocks, the Irish flag colors, and a Claddagh symbol in one stylish and ethnically distinct package:

But where's the harp?

Your Own Wedding Chapel

Cruising BoingBoing today, we noticed that the splendidly named WillyGoats, Inc. is offering a wedding chapel for sale on Amazon, priced to move at $20,319.97 (though not eligible for free shipping via Prime).

I'd love to see a list: People who bought a mobile wedding chapel also bought ...

Mrs Stiffler!

Eagle-eyed Agent Caroline points out that Advantage Bridal is offering a personalized wedding thong.

Take a closer look at that name embroidered on the thong: yes, it's Mrs. Stiffler: the super jerk of the American Pie movie series!

This site beautifully illustrates the rule that anything with the word "classy" in its name is, invariably, tacky.